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You didn’t think you could just go in there willy-nilly, did you? There are a few things you’ll want to have on hand when you go searching for the P-spot: Be sure to get clear consent before you go there. Remember that what turns you on may not be their thing, so be respectful of their choices. And if anal play is new territory for them, a frank discussion to make sure they’re on board is a must.Ĭommunicate open and honestly, and keep things light. You can’t just knock at someone’s backdoor uninvited no matter how hospitable they’ve been in the past. “They (hotels) are one of the few places where it’s possible for gay people to meet and to be who they really are for a few hours,” he said.īut he added he always advised people not to go because the risk was too high.How do I stimulate my partner’s prostate? Have a chat Secret parties in hotels, like the one police raided in August, or in the northern city of Zaria where 53 men were arrested in April, happen regularly, according to Alimi. And there are places in Lagos that are no-go areas, you hear too many stories there.”
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“You need to meet up in public spaces, this is rule number one. “There must be gay friends who know him otherwise it’s a big ‘No’,” said Wale. “Dating online is so stressful, you just become paranoid,” said Wale, the founder of, which resembles other gay lifestyle websites around the world.īut Kito Diaries is different in that its nearly 3,000 anonymous subscribers share details of Yahoo Boys to be avoided and what precautions to take. When an unknowing victim arrives at the rendezvous point for a date, he is forced to pay money to prevent his family being told he’s gay. If police abuse homosexuals, so too do the “Yahoo Boys” - the name for Nigerian internet fraudsters who have taken to posting fake profiles on gay dating and meet-up sites such as Grindr.
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But if you’re gay and poor, you’ll end up rotting in jail for the rest of your life,” said David. “If you’re gay and rich you can get away with it. No-one has yet been convicted but activists say it encourages corruption and extortion. The legislation, which imposes a maximum 14-year sentence, was condemned by human rights groups but was widely applauded in religiously conservative Nigeria, both Christian and Muslim. Legislation against gay marriage and same-sex unions was passed in early 2014, reinforcing existing laws on homosexuality. Twelve minors have been tried behind closed doors but it is unclear what has happened to them.Ĭases involving the remainder appear to have been lost in the judicial system.īisi Alimi, a Nigerian gay rights activist who came out on television in 2004 and now lives in London, said cases often disappear if someone has the means or connections. Twenty-eight are expected to appear in court in the coming days and risk up to 14 years in prison if they are convicted. The Lagos state government said those detained had been engaging in “gay activities” and “permitting male persons to have carnal knowledge of themselves against the order of nature”. Memories of that day in 2015 came flooding back to David when he heard that more than 80 people had been arrested at a Lagos hotel in early August. “I’m going to keep myself alive, so I can make a difference,” he told AFP defiantly, dressed in a black T-shirt and washed-out jeans, just like any other student in the city.
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He has even grown a thin beard over his delicate features. Now he takes care to cultivate what he says is an “androgenous look”, watching how he walks, talks and what clothes he wears. He had only just come to understand and accept that he was gay in a country where homosexuality is banned. It was a life-turning point… Something inside of me broke.”ĭavid, who comes from a working-class area of Lagos, was 19 when he was detained. “I kept strong in front of them,” he added. You don’t arrest someone because you don’t like the way he walks,” he told AFP. “If they caught me while I was with another man, maybe… but I knew my rights. A-ny-thing,” he stressed, recalling the incident.